Bows, Ribbons, and all things Pink. I love how women are embracing the little girls in them by making little tweaks to their fashion statements and making little lifestyle changes, whether it be cutting out minimalism and being maximalist to the loudest extent, or emphasizing play and rawness in their day-to-day lives.
Many people perceive this to be the start of a trend cycle, but the truth is this is neither a trend nor a cycle because all the pink and all the bows are not just accessories. They are ornamental representations of women embracing their being and identities through existing within and embracing colors, chaos, and various aspects of being raw and flawed, while breaking the cycle of generational trauma.
You might be tempted to ask, “Prathika, if you look into the history and timeline of fashion, bows and excessive pink have been there and been in and out of the trend cycle for decades now. Why aren’t you looking at this as a mere recycling of trends?” It is indeed true that accessories that are representational of innocent femininity and “girly” fashion have been in and out of the trend cycle for a while now, but the conversation surrounding how girls have been forced to “grow up” and be emotionally mature and strong hasn’t been held, at least not in the most fruitful manner.
Childhood plays an integral part in every human’s identity, regardless of gender, but the transition to adulthood looks different for women. Accountability and responsibility have always been vital elements in women’s lives, and the integration of these elements always takes place in an unfair manner.
From a very young age, girls are told and encouraged to pursue dreams that fit better within society’s description of gender roles. Our bodies are battlefields, containers of constant change, and adapters to men’s changing moods and wrongful actions. The expectation that young women bear - to be trauma dumpsters and unpaid therapists, to live on an entirely different moral scale from the rest of the society, and to do it all with a smile - shoves the essence of eternal girlhood away from us.
Girlhood is an extended version of childhood, and women have started to distinguish between reality and the facade of reality that they’ve been presented with. We’ve been unconsciously mourning the playful innocence of being girls for so long now. I am so grateful for the bows and Barbie pink for being the icebreakers here.
I wish films and other forms of media that discuss coming-of-age, specifically those that talk about girls’ coming-of-age, would shed some light on how social issues, whether it be gender violence or economic gap, affect girls and the way they grow up. I attribute my identity as a young woman of color to the girl I once was and I am trying to be once again. Growing up, I was always told that I was “too sensitive” and that my supposed oversensitivity is a sign of emotional weakness.
Right now, I am working towards reclaiming and being that little girl who was never afraid to express her emotions out in public. I want to be that girl who wasn’t afraid of dancing at parties due to the fear of looking stupid. I want to be that girl who didn’t care about sounding bad while singing along with the radio during long drives. I don’t want to be unafraid. I just don’t want to be ashamed of being afraid. I don’t want “shameless” to be a word of insult anymore.
When I say girlhood is eternal, I do not question the vividly beautiful nature of womanhood, but the eternity of girlhood that lies within womanhood. I see womanhood as a small extension of girlhood, for girlhood doesn’t end when womanhood begins. Rather, womanhood starts to exist within the realms of girlhood. I believe our identity is a set of memorabilia and that’s why girlhood is such an integral part of a woman’s identity.
The way I’ve forgotten to sit in the bleak of evening and enjoy and take in the petrichor, the way local sugar cookies taste when they are sogged up in milk, my love for little stickers and freebies that come with a pack of my favorite Vanilla wafers, and my fascination with the smallest of things. I’ve forgotten to love without expecting reciprocation, blamed it on growing up, and went about my day. That’s not who I am or who I want to be.
I think a lot about the future, about the cerebral value of the opportunities that I’d have in my career and my expertise in all of my pursuits, finding love, and building a family that I’d go home to every single day. I noticed how I’ve only thought about maximizing my level of involvement in every pursuit that I have yet to pursue regardless of the joy that even the shallow involvement brings me, just so that people can think of me the way I want to think of myself: a perfectionist. There is no beauty in perfection.
When something is perfect, it is tamed, molded, and groomed. I want my identity to be a containment of unending emotional wilderness, elements of formless creativity, and joyous spontaneity. I want to learn to give myself enough grace to be able to do this. Most of the grace I’ve acquired up until now, if grace is to be looked at as a quantifiable thing, I’ve learned to acquire from my best friend Graci. The simplest moments within our silly little activities, whether it be going out to get a sweet treat or taking a last-minute road trip, are what taught me that I already have the validity that I am searching for, whether it be through searching for love or filling my plate with career opportunities.
When thinking of my identity as an individual in someone else’s life, a character in another book that is not my own, or an outside perception of who I am, I always thought I fell short. I’ve often thought that not being in love - not being in romantic love, not right now - meant I was lacking something; I’ve learned that I was associating my identity within love and relationships with romantic love. While it is great to have a romantic partner in your life, platonic relationships have taught me everything about love.
The sisterhood and purity that I’ve found in the essence of female friendships are what led me to discover my personal values: trust, faith, and kindness.
I want my identity to be composed of love and pride. This might not sound like the most realistic idea, but realism is what we make of it, just like how time is a human-made concept. I want to emphasize healing, so the upcoming generations of brown girls can grow up to remain sensitive, playful, and loud.
Photography by Aubry Miller.
