Motherly Mindset

Influence doesn’t always look like a grand gesture; often, it’s found in the smallest corners of our lives. From the moment we’re born, we’re shaped by the people and environments around us. The influence of others begins long before we even notice it and, as we grow, it molds our beliefs, choices, and the way we see ourselves. By the time we become mothers—or even consider the possibility of motherhood—that shaping continues, but with new layers.

For me, influence is about how we show up and how our actions, choices, and words affect the people around us. And, on the flip side, it’s just as important to think about how other people influence us. Before motherhood, I thought influence was something you did on purpose, with active thought, but life has taught me that it’s in the everyday things—the things we don’t always think about but leave lasting impressions. I’m always discovering just how much my influence—intentional or not—affects my children, shaping how they think, feel, and live. The way I show up today has a direct impact on how they’ll navigate their lives in the future. It’s humbling to think that how I speak to them, react in challenging situations, or even how I treat myself will influence their choices and their confidence in the years to come.

Motherhood influences everything. It’s not just about how we spend our time; it’s about the decisions we make, the spaces we create, and the priorities we set. Becoming a mother at 15 changed many things for me. My decisions weren’t just about me anymore. My room, once all mine, had to make space for a baby bed and all my son’s necessities. My time, once filled with things I enjoyed for me, now centered on feedings, naps, and appointments. At that time, I didn’t realize how much power my decisions had or how they would shape my child’s world. I was just trying to survive day to day.

Now, 19 years and four children later, I’m still learning. I remind myself daily that my decisions, big or small, create ripples. Whether it’s how I speak to my kids when I’m tired or how I handle a stressful situation, I know it’s all shaping how they’ll show up in the world someday. I don’t have it all figured out, and I don’t think that’s the point. I catch myself in moments where I’m not intentional—when I’m rushing through the day or distracted by work—and I try to pause.

It’s a work in progress, this beautiful mess of a so-called “balanced life” that we get to make the most of.

“Balance” is especially true when it comes to how I spend my time, and even more true as an entrepreneur. When I started my business, I thought I was working toward freedom. I told myself I was building something that would allow me to spend more time with my family. But instead, I found myself working every spare moment—every “random” free minute, every evening, every nap time. I thought I was making sacrifices for my family, but what I realized was that I was missing the moments right in front of me. I’d get frustrated when my kids needed me, guilty when they wanted to play and I didn’t have time, and resentful when their needs interrupted my flow. I was working hard, but it didn’t feel like it was serving my real priorities.

That realization forced me to look closely at what I valued most. I didn’t want to spend all my time working just to look back and feel like I missed their childhood. But making that shift wasn’t easy. I had to start asking myself, “What really matters right now?” Some days, I still struggle with this. I’m learning to balance my business goals with what’s most important: being present with my family. I don’t always get it right, but I’m more intentional now about creating boundaries with my time. If I’ve promised myself I’ll stop working at 3:00, I try to stick to that—even when the to-do list feels endless. It’s not perfect, but I remind myself that my time is valuable and how I use it sets the tone for what I value most. This is the power of influence.

Motherhood has influenced every part of my life, from the decisions I make, how I set up my home, and how I spend my time.

I also think about how my time sets an example for my kids. When I prioritize spending time with them—whether it’s helping with homework, playing a game, or just being fully present during dinner—I’m showing them that they matter. I’m teaching them that relationships and connection are worth more than the hustle. And when I do need to focus on work, I try to communicate that in a way that helps them understand why I’m working and what I’m working toward. It’s not about perfection; it’s about being honest with them and with myself.

Motherhood has also changed how I think about the spaces I live in. My house is full of reminders of the influence my kids have had. The bathroom isn’t mine alone—it’s overtaken by toys, and my garden tub is still their favorite playground. The dining table has scratches from endless art projects and memories of meals we’ve shared. I often forgo purses because the diaper bag was my purse for so long. Or, thinking of a moment yesterday during an in-person meet-up, I pulled out the dirty underwear and socks of my 4-year old. Me and the other woman just had a moment of laughter, connection, and understanding. She got it. My life isn’t picture-perfect, but it’s real, and it reflects the life we’re building together. Sometimes I wish for more space of my own, but then I remind myself that this season of life—messy and chaotic as it is—won’t last forever.

These spaces remind me of the shared life we have, but I’ve also learned to carve out small areas that feel like mine. Whether it’s a quiet corner to read in or a shelf where I keep things just for me, those moments of intentionality remind me that I’m not just a mom—I’m a person with my own needs and desires, too. Those spaces, no matter how small, help me recharge so I can show up for my family in the ways I want to.

The decisions I make—how I speak to my kids, how I react, how I spend my time—don’t just affect today; they shape who my kids will become and the type of life I will live. When I pause to listen, show patience, or admit when I’m wrong, I’m showing them how to handle challenges. I want them to know it’s okay to make mistakes, to figure things out as they go, and to keep learning. I remind myself that how I show up now is teaching them how to show up for themselves and others. It’s humbling to realize that the life I model for them will influence how they think, feel, and navigate their own decisions as adults.

Even in my work, I think about influence constantly. As a mindset nurse, I help my clients notice the things shaping their lives—the people, beliefs, and choices they’ve absorbed over time. Many don’t realize how much they’re being influenced or how much power they have to change it. I help them think about whether those influences are helping them grow or holding them back. It’s a lesson I’m still learning myself: to notice where I’m letting outside pressures drive my choices and to remind myself to choose what really matters.

Motherhood connects women in profound ways, even those who aren’t mothers. We all understand the pull of being needed, of expectations from others, and the challenge of balancing it all. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s okay to need time for myself, to want things outside of being a mom, and to pursue my own goals. I believe it’s important to normalize those desires because how we take care of ourselves teaches our children what’s possible for them. They learn by watching us.

If someone walked into my home, they’d see just how much motherhood has influenced every part of my life—how I spend my time, the choices I make, the spaces I live in—and I’m still learning how to navigate it all. But even in the messiness, I am getting better at centering my focus on not just the influence I have on my kids, but the influences I choose to be led by.

To every woman reading this, whether you’re a mom or not, your influence matters too. It’s in the way you show up, the choices you make, and the way you treat others. It’s in the legacy you leave behind, not in a perfect life, but in the care and love you put into the world. Motherhood, like life, is messy and beautiful. And that’s exactly how it’s meant to be.

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Written by Regina Sloan