It Takes a Village

Community is created by individuals who seek connection, support, and common intentions in the world. Finding your communities in life is an ongoing, ever-changing part of who we are.

When I was a younger woman, I found my communities naturally, by pursuing the activities and the subjects I enjoyed, and my identity formed alongside these experiences.

As a mom, finding and maintaining a community takes on a whole new meaning.

To me, the notion of how my son perceives himself and the world is my greatest responsibility as a mom. When my son was born, I had the most incredible shift in my world; everything felt more intense, and my body was overwhelmed with love and excitement for the life we would share together. It was the complete opposite feeling of what I experienced when my son was diagnosed with autism and I was told he may never speak and will need one-on-one, lifelong care. Everything in my world shifted. I immediately felt alone, anxious, sad, unsure, fearful, unworthy, and completely out of my element. The future I envisioned for my son and for myself was no more. The grief that ensued has been a journey of valleys and peaks that continually flow as I watched my son’s development halt, his language never developed, he was having so much difficulty controlling his body, and he could not stay in one place without constantly seeking out exits and new places to explore.

Of the many thoughts reeling through my mind each day, the greatest was my desire to give myself and my son a fulfilling life. I refused to let him miss out on experiences like visiting Santa, going to the mall, enjoying new restaurants, attending festivals and local markets. Then I realized, how many other moms are going through this excruciating experience of personal growth and development as a parent while managing the complexities of care for their autistic child? How many other moms are staying home because there are not safe spaces to experience the world for their child? Heartbreak.

I felt a crushing blow, knowing that we, as autism moms and as women, are sacrificing our deepest personal desires and childhood dreams in order to attempt to be everything at every moment for our children.

Bringing our children together at Ausome Indy’s sensory friendly events was a simple way to begin a movement of moms who started continually showing up for each other and creating a community seeking hope, understanding, and safety through their experiences parenting a child with autism.

This was how we created Ausome Indy Moms, a community of moms who are parenting children with autism. The community is a testament to the transformative power of shared experience and collective empathy. Women from all over Indiana have come together to create safe spaces for children with autism and their families to connect, share and celebrate their lives together through social events, support meetups, birthday clubs, volunteering, and mentoring. We have brought together more than 900 Hoosier moms from all types of backgrounds, lifestyles, with varying interests and passions for life and autism advocacy. Together we have fostered a sense of community where women can openly share knowledge and resources about raising a child with autism, offer practical support about effective therapies, behavioral interventions and coping strategies we have found useful in different phases of our child’s growth. Knowing we are not alone at 3:00 am when our child is wide awake most mornings, that our child’s sensory challenges are valid and there are ways to help themselves regulate and find comfort, and feeling seen and connected to those who manage these constant challenges can help moms begin to balance their own personal care, growth and desires.

Our collective knowledge and experiences as a community of moms has helped moms of newly diagnosed children navigate the complexities of a diagnosis and the systems to access resources and medical support. The power of these connections and friendships has been life changing and led to the creation of our Moms Mentoring Moms program. This program matches newly diagnosed moms with experienced moms for six month mentorships. We found that connecting moms who have once been in a similar situation provides invaluable emotional, practical, and social support for newly diagnosed moms.

As a social network, Ausome Indy Moms provides emotional safety and belonging which can buffer the effects of stress and promote resilience. As women and moms, our mental picture of ourselves is the strongest force within us. There is something in being seen by others who “get it” that brings forth growth and improves our self image. The community that women can build together has a lasting impact on who we are and how we show up for our children. I am so grateful to be a part of our Ausome Indy Moms community; the mothers who have shared their deepest fears and conquered some of life’s most challenging adversities give me hope.

I know it takes vulnerability to find your community and show up as you are. It takes love.

Ausome Indy Moms fills a critical gap by providing a safe and accepting environment where mothers can discuss the challenges and joys of raising a child with autism. Our community events foster connections and understanding, while our mentorship program offers personalized guidance to those new to the journey. By sharing knowledge, resources, and experiences, we empower mothers to advocate for their children, access necessary support, and prioritize their own well-being.

The impact of Ausome Indy Moms extends beyond individual members. By raising awareness and promoting acceptance, we are shaping a more inclusive society for individuals with autism and their families. Our advocacy efforts have led to positive changes in local policies and practices, ensuring that children with autism have equal opportunities to learn, play, and thrive.

Looking ahead, we are committed to expanding our reach and impact. We envision a future where every mother of a child with autism feels supported, empowered, and connected. Through continued collaboration, innovation, and advocacy, we will create a world where all individuals with autism are valued and included.

I invite you to join us in this important mission. Whether you are a mother, a family member, a professional, or a community member, your support can make a difference. Together, we can build a brighter future for children with autism and their families.

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By Kate Miller